Feeling OVERWHELMED? Drowning is STRESS? Here's a tip from a lovely psychologist.

Parenting can be impossibly hard sometimes.  As a mother of a 16 year old daughter and a 4 year old son, as well as being a step-mum to an 8 year old boy, I have my hands full of people that need my care and guidance, and these people often have no interest in listening to me at all. It's great isn't it?  The job as a parent we take so seriously and spend so much time doing is met with our 'clients' total lack of knowing or understanding.  And that's fair enough. They are children after all.  Who knows if they'll ever understand or appreciate all the work we put in.  We just want our kids to grow up with the best possible start to life, and who really knows how our parenting will go.. the best we can really do is hope to see the 'proof in the pudding' when they grow up to be amazing adults.  And maybe they'll grow up to hate me anyway and not want anything to do with me.  There are no guarantees.  And that is realy hard to take sometimes when all you do everyday is THE BEST JOB POSSIBLE knowing one day that it could essentially all be for nothing.  But that is quite a nhilistic point of view, and one that really only lives here inside of me because I'm so damn tired all the time.  

And then we have our health issues.  I know you do too.  Why do I know that?  Because we ALL do.  We live in a toxic world where there are traps everywhere.  Food traps, 'health' traps, toxins in the air, water, and food we eat.  Its pretty extreme in toxicity on this beloved planet Earth. Medical Medium Anthony William calls it 'Planet Stress' because of the hardship it puts our poor little bodies minds and souls through.  

I know I've been feeling alot of stress from not sleeping for 3.5years with my little boy who just couldn't make it through a night without waking 3-6 times to be fed.  And then I got the Chrohns disease syptoms which was like severe IBS, I was on the toilet most of the day, 20 times, I couldnt eat as food would just fall out of my burning stomach, and I lost 14kg. Then I got rheumatoid arthritis which is getting worse by the day.  My hands ache, I can't turn on the indicator in the car without severe pain.  My feet and toes hurt so badly I can hardly get down the stairs.  I walk like an old lady for a few minutes when I first get up, or get up off a chair.  My back muscles hurt and my lungs hurt.  It's harder to breath. I feel like the arthritis gets everywhere. It's in my aching eyes, and I can't see long distances anymore. A year ago I had my eyes tested and I had perfect vision (apart from a few dehydrated lesions from the IBS/malnutrition I was suffering from at the time.) The arthritis gets in my neck and spine, and in my gums. In fact it was my teeth that gave it away to begin with.  I wondered why for the last few years my gums had bled so easily.  I had a sore tooth for no reason and the gum under it ached for no reason. It still does.  It turns our RA damages tooth tissues.  This was one of the first signs for me.  

Anwyay, IT HURTS.  Alot of it hurts.  I suppose you don't understand until it happens to you. And I hope it never does.  But the point is, trying to live and thrive and parent when you are also dealing with things like illness or even just sleep deprivation is really really HARD.  Sometimes you might get to a point where you feel frozen. Like you almost cant even gather a thought because you SHOULD be doing all these things and you can barely even be up and awake.  

These SHOULD's are a problem.  I should be drinking a litre of lemon water a day for my liver. I should be drinking celery juice every morning. I should not be having coffee or alcohol.  These are the shoulds that help me and I feel like I want to do them because if I dont, I suffer. And I am really suffering now. 

But there are other shoulds that can take a backseat. I should be taking my son out every day to do exciting things for him.  I should be working in the garden, fixing the wall hangings, cleaning the bathrooms, writing the email to our lawyer of a list of events leading up to our friend stealing $50,000 from us.  There's a list of shoulds so long that I just freeze.  I cant cope with one more thought. 

So to counteract these 'should's a compassionate psychologist I read about in Psychology Today suggests that we remember the 3S's . Sigh, See and Start. 

When a should comes up, or too many shoulds to handle and we freak out, the first thing we SHOULD do (lol) is ;

Sigh.  Sigh with a deep breath out and that will help regulate our central nervous system and centre us. 

See - see your surroundings, your child, and just see what is there right in front of you. 

Start - begin to do a project. Whatever it is. Start the thing that you are going to do. Even if it is not the right thing.  Whatever.  Just begin.  And if a SHOULD slips back in the begin the process over again. 

I read this yesterday and I find it soothes my little brain.  I hope it it helps you too. 

Lots of love,

Sheri xx